# Recruitment



## MuscleWhitefish (Jan 13, 2015)

Tragically, Walter Green, an HR manager was hit and killed by a pick-up truck when he crossed the road while talking on his cell phone.

As his soul arrived at the Pearly Gates, St. Peter was there to greet him.

Saint Peter welcomed Walter to Heaven and said "Before you get settled in though, we’d like to give you the opportunity to experience both heaven and hell so what we’re going to do is let you have a day in each before you decide where you wish to spend eternity.” 

“I’m sure I want to be in heaven, but ok”, said Walter.

Eventually he arrived and found herself stepping onto a beach of fine white sand, with deep blue water lapping at his feet and a bar with gorgeous waiter serving refreshing ****tails. Just beyond that he could see a luxury hotel and many of them people he knew from his life as an HR manager. They sat around, reminisced about the good times, laughed, swam and then as the bright golden sun disappeared below the horizon they all went into the hotel for an amazing meal. The food was outstanding.

He even met Satan who was also very friendly, and not at all like the evil devil he had been led to believe he was. The evening was full of drinking and laughs.


Walter had an outstanding time in hell, but all too quickly and his visit came to an end. He was swept into the escalator to sample heaven. Everybody smiled and waved good-bye as he disappeared into the clouds.

The escalator went up for what seemed like an age but eventually he arrived at heaven where St Peter was once again there to greet her.

“OK, so now it’s time to spend 24 hours in Heaven” he said. Walter took his place among the clouds. Everyone was sitting around, chatting quietly, playing trumpets and harps, and Walter declined to join in. People were pleasant but it was nothing like as much fun as hell.

In fact the 24 hours seemed to take ages, but eventually it all came to an end. 

St. Peter came see her. “So,” he said, “you have experienced heaven and hell – where would you like to spend the rest of eternity?”

Without hesitating Walter replied, “Hell – no question. I can’t believe I’m saying this because before I arrived I would have stayed in heaven without even visiting hell, but now that I’ve seen it I know that’s much more my kind of place. Heaven is fine, but I think I’m better suited to spending the rest of eternity in hell.”

St. Peter nodded and escorted her back to the escalator which swept him back down, eventually, to hell, but when he arrived it was very different. Walter found himself standing in a hot, dry, putrid smelling wilderness. For as far as he could see all around was detritus, organic waste, and the stench of death.

All his friends, old and new were dressed in filthy rags and were picking up scraps of rancid food to eat. Satan came up to him again and welcomed Walter.

“I don’t understand,” exclaimed Walter. “When I came yesterday it was fabulous food and drink, beautiful sun drenched sandy beaches and clear blue sea. Now all there is is a wasteland of putrid waste and everyone is scratching around for food.”

The Devil looked at him and smiled, “that’s because yesterday we were recruiting you, but now you’re on the staff.”


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## nocturnalenemy (Jun 26, 2011)

Nice. So is Walter a man or a woman?


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## MuscleWhitefish (Jan 13, 2015)

nocturnalenemy said:


> Nice. So is Walter a man or a woman?


Those silly silly pro-nouns.


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