# TP shortage



## hunting777

Some people aren’t shaking hands because of the Coronavirus. I’m not shaking hands because everyone is out of toilet paper.


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## RandomElk16

Charmin started the corona virus..


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## CPAjeff

RandomElk16 said:


> Charmin started the corona virus..


Years from now, people at Charmin will still talk about 2020 Q2 market gains, record revenues, and giggle at the sheer pandemonium this Corona BS caused.

However, it was an incredible period for trading yesterday and this morning! My trip to the Yukon for moose, sheep, and caribou just got a lot closer!  Maybe I should send Charmin a thank you letter . . .


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## RandomElk16

CPAjeff said:


> Years from now, people at Charmin will still talk about 2020 Q2 market gains, record revenues, and giggle at the sheer pandemonium this Corona BS caused.
> 
> However, it was an incredible period for trading yesterday and this morning! My trip to the Yukon for moose, sheep, and caribou just got a lot closer!  Maybe I should send Charmin a thank you letter . . .


I am genuinely curious how TP became the most essential thing. Vitamin C, Emergen-C, Tissues... All still on the shelves.

Was there a notice that this caused absolutely violent bowel movements? Like who the hell decided to raid the TP shelves?

.22 made SOME sense. This makes none.


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## CPAjeff

RandomElk16 said:


> I am genuinely curious how TP became the most essential thing. Vitamin C, Emergen-C, Tissues... All still on the shelves.
> 
> Was there a notice that this caused absolutely violent bowel movements? Like who the hell decided to raid the TP shelves?
> 
> .22 made SOME sense. This makes none.


Exactly. Bottled water is in the same boat - like are they really going to shut off the water supplies?? Morons . . .


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## RandomElk16

CPAjeff said:


> Exactly. Bottled water is in the same boat - like are they really going to shut off the water supplies?? Morons . . .


There are substantially stronger viruses that didn't impact the water. Our filtration process has shown it cleans it well enough.

Yet people think tap water is straight from still water in Africa.


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## Critter

RandomElk16 said:


> There are substantially stronger viruses that didn't impact the water. Our filtration process has shown it cleans it well enough.
> 
> Yet people think tap water is straight from still water in Africa.


I had some of that still water over in Africa, it was around 180 proof.........but do you mean that water that doesn't move and stagnates? :O--O:


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## High Desert Elk

People are just getting ready for the zombie apocalypse brought to you courtesy of Corona...


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## Vanilla

Same thing with .22 ammo. People didn’t need it. Heck, there were some buying the ammo without even having a .22 yet. They “heard” it was going off the shelves, and flocked like sheep to buy it up. 

No different here. “What? People are rushing to go buy TP? By golly, I’m getting my butt down to Costco right now to hoard as much as possible before it’s too late!”

The gun and ammo industry were extremely effective in convincing the populace that Obama was going to ban guns, even when anyone paying attention or even slightly informed on the topic knew that was crap. “Oh, but the government is buying all the .22LR so that we won’t have it to defend ourselves!!!” We were going to defend ourselves from the government with a bunch of .22s? Wow. Just wow. 

Charmin is loving life right now, and totally on board with the apocalypse and end of TP as we know it. Buy it up folks! Buy it up.


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## taxidermist

CPAjeff said:


> Years from now, people at Charmin will still talk about 2020 Q2 market gains, record revenues, and giggle at the sheer pandemonium this Corona BS caused.
> 
> However, it was an incredible period for trading yesterday and this morning! My trip to the Yukon for moose, sheep, and caribou just got a lot closer!  Maybe I should send Charmin a thank you letter . . .


It was a great day for trading!!! I love it when the market tanks and everything is "On Sale". I just cant believe the amount of people that freak out over the market when it slides.


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## Bax*

I got mad that I couldn’t find any TP so I bought a bidet on Amazon. 

Works pretty well!


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## johnnycake

Bax* said:


> I got mad that I couldn't find any TP so I bought a bidet on Amazon.
> 
> Works pretty well!


Welcome to the heights of cleanliness!


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## taxidermist

I just dragged the garden hose inside with a nice adjustable sprayer and use that as my "******* Bidet"


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## Vanilla

taxidermist > johnnycake


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## CPAjeff

taxidermist said:


> I just dragged the garden hose inside with a nice adjustable sprayer and use that as my "******* Bidet"


Sounds exotic and luxurious - how many settings does your adjustable sprayer have? Be careful you don't accidentally use the jet setting, that could really ruin the whole experience!


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## bowgy

CPAjeff said:


> Sounds exotic and luxurious - how many settings does your adjustable sprayer have? Be careful you don't accidentally use the jet setting, that could really ruin the whole experience!


Yeah, you could turn yourself into a garden fountain.


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## johnnycake

taxidermist said:


> I just dragged the garden hose inside with a nice adjustable sprayer and use that as my "******* Bidet"


I have a whole new level of respect for you.


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## pollo70

I agree with all the post, people are just freaking out! especially on the bottled water, plenty of free water at the North Ogden spring fountain and its not like the rivers & lakes are dried up.. I guess some people don't remember how to boil water like are ancestors use to do it back in the good ole day's, dang city slickers!


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## DallanC

pollo70 said:


> I guess some people don't remember how to boil water like are ancestors use to do it back in the good ole day's, dang city slickers!


Agreed. Had this conversation with my wife couple days ago, she wants to store water. I said I would rather spend the minimal amount of money and build a distillery ... which honestly could be done for about $10. We have lots of water around, money is better spend on filtration and sterilization methods.

Reminder to the non-prep people: every hot water heater has 30-80 gallons of fresh potable water in it, depending on what size heater you have.

-DallanC


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## johnnycake

Vanilla said:


> taxidermist > johnnycake


And here I was expecting you to quip in with your youthful dalliances of just hopping in the shower and performing the waffle stomp to hide the evidence.


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## Vanilla

johnnycake said:


> And here I was expecting you to quip in with your youthful dalliances of just hopping in the shower and performing the waffle stomp to hide the evidence.


I'm no longer the young guy in the room, and I don't even know what that means. Something tells me I better not Google it, either.


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## 2blade

Why are we running out of toilet paper?

Because when one person sneezes, 100 others chit themselves!


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## taxidermist

CPAjeff said:


> Sounds exotic and luxurious - how many settings does your adjustable sprayer have? Be careful you don't accidentally use the jet setting, that could really ruin the whole experience!


Oh that's the best way for the enema procedure! You just need to make sure the hose has been in the sunshine for a few hours to warm the water up.8)


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## Critter

taxidermist said:


> Oh that's the best way for the enema procedure! You just need to make sure the hose has been in the sunshine for a few hours to warm the water up.8)


Just remember not to let that hose sit in the sun too long or you may cauterize something that you want to use in the future without too much pain.


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## johnnycake

Vanilla said:


> I'm no longer the young guy in the room, and I don't even know what that means. Something tells me I better not Google it, either.


Feign ignorance all you want...I know a waffle stomper when I see one.


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## 2full

Wow, you guys are terrible !!!! ☹
But, I will admit I cracked up when I got caught up on this post.


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## Vanilla

johnnycake said:


> Feign ignorance all you want...I know a waffle stomper when I see one.


You got me. I Googled it. Ha! That's good stuff. I didn't realize that was an option.

Reminds me when Kramer installed a garbage disposal in his shower in Seinfeld, but a little more gross.


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## Bax*

I have three girls in my house. This TP thing is a joke


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## Critter

For those that can't afford or have room for the real thing here is a substitute that you can do with parts from Home Depot or Lowe's.


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## Critter

And for those of you who are in a panic


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## 35whelen

good thing i always save my unfilled tags


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## hunting777

Critter said:


> For those that can't afford or have room for the real thing here is a substitute that you can do with parts from Home Depot or Lowe's.


Funny thing is, I have a good friend who works at a hardware store. He told me that he has sold 4 different set ups just like this on Saturday.


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## Critter

hunting777 said:


> Funny thing is, I have a good friend who works at a hardware store. He told me that he has sold 4 different set ups just like this on Saturday.


The thing that I wonder about if just how would you clean off using this set up? Every way that I can imagine you would make a mess all over the floor, not to mention the walls.

Or do you have a friend come in with you to hose you off?


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## hunting777

Critter said:


> The thing that I wonder about if just how would you clean off using this set up? Every way that I can imagine you would make a mess all over the floor, not to mention the walls.
> 
> Or do you have a friend come in with you to hose you off?


hahahaha

I could only image someone saying. Hey honey, can you come help me with this? I've been spraying it for minutes and it won't let go. -_O-


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## KineKilla

My home is still ok on TP supplies but just in case, I took all the guns out of my safe yesterday and put the remaining TP rolls in there instead. A man has to have priorities.


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## Critter

The biggest thing that gets me is that people just don't think anymore in this new society of disposal everything. 

If they would remember back to the days of cloth diapers. Every parent carried a wash cloth or two with them in the diaper bag to clean the kid up. They would then go to the toilet and rinse out the diaper before putting it back into the diaper bag. The wash cloth was used to clean up what the cloth diaper didn't get and it too was rinsed off in the sink to be used again on the next occasion.


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