# Hickory Dickory Dock



## johnnycake (Jul 19, 2011)

Two boys ran out the clock.
They left their homes, went north to roam,
For four caribou with the dogs.

All Thursday night away they drove,
with bloody dreams delight.
Come Friday morn, their focus was torn
By a wolf in the blinding daylight.

Alas 'twas for naught, and skylined they were caught.
And away ran the beast in the snow.

But fear not, my triple equined reader! For the promise of victory is nigh.
Away and away our two morons drove, as a dog stole oatmeal creme pies.

At 10 yet again with hope sky high, our heroes embarked on the sled.
When to their surprise, ahead their path lies becrossed with a true idiot.

They assisted and grumbled, as the new victim bumbled and managed to nearly part with his head.

When up on the ridge, salvation appeared!
And shot after shot rang out.
A tapestry of death, masterfully arrayed, the crimson on the snow.

As the work began, the day passed on and the morons returned to the truck. At 6pm, they looked fairly grim at the thought of spending the night.

So with a kick to the spleen and copious caffeine away they drove to their beds.

Thirty hours gone and come, they arrived back at home,
Filled with blood and murderous delight.


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## taxidermist (Sep 11, 2007)

Dang Cake, your a Poet and didn't even know it, you have foot, just like Longfellow's. 

Cool story and pics for proof. Now we know you speak the truth.


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## bowgy (Oct 10, 2007)

Hey flapjack.... uuhh johnnycake, I am glad someone is living the dream. Sounds and looks awesome thanks for sharing.


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## Airborne (May 29, 2009)

Not as cool as Ptarmigan but still pretty cool!


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## colorcountrygunner (Oct 6, 2009)

I liked the part where you murdered the caribou.


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## johnnycake (Jul 19, 2011)

Airborne said:


> Not as cool as Ptarmigan but still pretty cool!


After dealing with the bonus bozo for several hours we had no extra energy to set up camp and chase ptarmigan the next day. Ava and Ethyl (my buddy's griff) were not happy, as there were ptarmigan everywhere up there


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## backcountry (May 19, 2016)

Every trip report exposes the fact that your weirdness isn't bound by my understanding of the term. And that is a compliment 😁🤣

Congrats on the hunt. Jealous you live in the animal "murder" capital of the US.


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## one4fishing (Jul 2, 2015)

Wow good job. I bet you guys weren’t feeling too smart when it came time to handle four at once.


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## Vanilla (Dec 11, 2009)

one4fishing said:


> Wow good job. I bet you guys weren’t feeling too smart when it came time to handle four at once.


That was future Jonathon's problem. 

Good stuff cake!


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## johnnycake (Jul 19, 2011)

one4fishing said:


> Wow good job. I bet you guys weren’t feeling too smart when it came time to handle four at once.


After watching the dingbat nearly kill himself several times we made him hunt with us. Twenty minutes later we dropped 6 bou in 5 minutes. 

Dealing with multiple animals isn't too bad. Wind was calm, temps were in the 20s, it was nice and sunny (got a bit sunburnt to tell the truth). But we couldn't leave that dude unsupervised for even 5 minutes without him rolling his brand-new skidoo with a 24"wide track or his tow sled (with two whole, ungutted caribou tied up inside). Spent hours just unf###ing his bullshirt.


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## 3arabians (Dec 9, 2014)

You did not disappoint with the rhyme or the good time!! 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## johnnycake (Jul 19, 2011)

Airborne said:


> Not as cool as Ptarmigan but still pretty cool!


Seeing as work is going to keep me too busy to take Ava out chasing ptarmigan for the final day of the season close to home, I will probably try to run back up there to get her some more murder therapy. Ptarmigan season up there closes 4/30. Or I might fly out to one of the villages where the season runs through June. Gotta love the absurdly long upland season up here.


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## caddis8 (Sep 10, 2007)

I think a story of the bozo is warranted. I feel the poem wasn't as emotionally moving and left out key details. 

What's the plan to eat them caribous? What gourmet plan do you have for them?


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## johnnycake (Jul 19, 2011)

I'd rather forget Ralph with the bad back. Should have let nature take its course. 

I've got mine hanging in my shed still. Temps are perfect for that. I'll likely cut and wrap them this weekend, then start turning them into burger, jerky, pastrami, bone broth, and sausages over the next couple months. 

Fun fact, my 2nd bou's testicles never descended, and his antlers (most bulls shed 2 months ago) still had a lot of dried velvet on them. His neck was all scarred up and healing, coat ten kinds of weird too. Looked like he got creased by a bullet a couple months ago, then hit by a truck. Tough life for that lady-boi bou.


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