# Sipping Vodka



## Longgun (Sep 7, 2007)

*A new Priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. After mass he asked the Monsignor how he had done.*

*The Monsignor replied, "When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip."*

*So the next Sunday he took the Monsignor's advice. At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He proceeded to talk up a storm.*

*Upon his return to his office after the mass, he found the following note on the door:*

*1: Sip the vodka, don't gulp.*

*2: There are 10 commandments, not 12.*

*3: There are 12 disciples, not 10.*

*4: Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.*

*5: Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.*

*6: We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C..*

*7: The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior and the Spook.*

*8: David slew Goliath; he did not kick the **** out of him..*

*9: When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his donkey, don't say he was stoned off his ass.*

*10: We do not refer to the cross as the 'Big T.'*

*11: When Jesus broke the bread at the last supper he said, "Take this and eat it, for this is my body." He did not say,"Eat me."*

*12: The Virgin Mary is not called 'Mary with the Cherry'.*

*13: The recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanks for the grub, Yeah God.*

*14: Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at St. Peter's not a peter pulling contest at St. Taffy's.*


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## hunting777 (May 3, 2009)

:rotfl::rotfl:-_O--_O-


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## Dunkem (May 8, 2012)

-_O-Now that there is funny,I dont care who you are!


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## Longgun (Sep 7, 2007)

no doubt the best one ive heard in awhile, lol

#7 eg: "daddy, junior and the _Spook_" still has me rolling.


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## LostLouisianian (Oct 11, 2010)

Oh man my eyes are watering I was laughing so hard....this is awesome.


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## wyogoob (Sep 7, 2007)

that's a goodun


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## 2full (Apr 8, 2010)

:O||: outstanding.


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