# If the wife asks.....



## Nambaster (Nov 15, 2007)

Just thought that I would start a thread here with some good "if the wife asks" situations. 

For example: If the wife asks is it ok if some out of towners come by on a specific day... 
The first time you should always say "no".... 

Because what she is really commiting you to is: "Are you willing to clean up our entire house for the sake of making me look better in front of some people that you don't care about?" and if you answer "yes" then you have to clean the entire house prior to their arrival including the irregular jobs like: Dusting the top of the ceiling fan, emptying the grease catch in the oven hood, or any random task that she would not normally get away with asking. 

If you answer "no" the first time then she asks you why and you have some negotiating power.


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## Bax* (Dec 14, 2008)

Ha ha ha! Very good point you make.

How much cleaning have you done so far?


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## GaryFish (Sep 7, 2007)

Negotiating power? I would guess that with such a statement, you:

A) Haven't been married very long
B) Are not married now
C) Have been married several times
D) Will probably get married again some time in the future

;-) Its a good time of year to make some good will deposits in the old bank of good deeds. Hunting season is pretty much over, fishing is between soft and hard water, so might as well build that account in the bank of good deeds back up. Spring will be here soon enough.


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## Nambaster (Nov 15, 2007)

GaryFish said:


> Negotiating power? I would guess that with such a statement, you:
> 
> A) Haven't been married very long
> B) Are not married now
> ...


Hope fully the answer is A)Haven't been married very long... Is 5 years very long?

Bax, its not just the cleaning but when the aunt in law stays over I sleep on the couch and she keeps my side of the bed warm while they watch "the Holiday" over and over again.

I've worked in the insurance industry for sometime now and a "total loss" is when the wife says: "I have decided I want to learn how to cook, so would you be willing to do the dishes after wards?" Not only do I have to eat the meals, but I have to do the dishes and clean up as well? :O•-:


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## Bax* (Dec 14, 2008)

Ha ha ha I know what you mean Nambaster. My wife is from St George so her family comes up periodically and they all come down and steal the TV from me and watch some movie that they got on Red Box that my wife knows I wont watch with her. Then before I know it, they are all asleep on the couch and there is another hour left on the movie and I cant put something else on while they are "watching" _MY _tv.

Thank goodness I just started reading Lone Survivor. At least I have something to keep myself entertained during the estrogen fest that is my life. (Wife, daughter, sister-in-law, female dog, and female cat.... FML)

Dont you just love it when they say things like "I have decided that we need to learn how to cook"? Because you know she really means "I know what I am doing, now you need to do it too." My wife will say things like "we need to sweep the garage out." and I will say "yep, you sure do." The couch is a familiar friend. :lol:


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## GaryFish (Sep 7, 2007)

If the wife asks......"Honey, do these pants make my butt look fat?"

The correct answer IS NOT "No, your butt makes your butt look fat."

The correct answer IS "I Love You! Did you see that our son got an A on his math test today?"


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## Chaser (Sep 28, 2007)

A few hundred dollars would be worth it to have a TV of my own to watch on these occasions. And honestly, Nambaster? You ALLOW her to sleep on your side of the bed??? If that's the case, you deserve to sleep on the couch! Nobody but my wife, myself, and our dogs sleep on our bed, period. I don't care what the occasion is. I'd be happy to offer up my couch to a friend or relative, but never my own bed. Besides, if you don't budge on that, they'll take the hint and start getting a hotel room when they come to town.


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## Fishrmn (Sep 14, 2007)

Chaser said:


> You ALLOW her to sleep on your side of the bed??? If that's the case, you deserve to sleep on the couch! Nobody but my wife, myself, and our dogs sleep on our bed, period. I don't care what the occasion is. I'd be happy to offer up my couch to a friend or relative, but never my own bed.





Nambaster said:


> its not just the cleaning but when the aunt in law stays over I sleep on the couch and she keeps my side of the bed warm while they watch "the Holiday" over and over again.


I'd be more inclined to tell them that I'll stay in the bed, and if the aunt-in-law wants to stay while the wife sleeps on the couch it's okay. _(O)_ :O•-: :lol:


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## Loke (Sep 7, 2007)

Fishrmn said:


> I'd be more inclined to tell them that I'll stay in the bed, and if the aunt-in-law wants to stay while the wife sleeps on the couch it's okay. _(O)_ :O•-: :lol:


I just threw up in my mouth. A lot. ****.


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## bullsbucksbirds&dogs (Jun 16, 2011)

Amen to the estrogen fest BAX, (Wife, Daughter, Daughter due in February, 2 female dogs, 2 female cats, 4 hen chickens!) You have got to say no sooner or later to the wife. Because you can never tell the daughter no. I dont worry about the couch to much, thank god I have a detatched garage. My wife knows she can do whatever she wants in the house because I will just go to my home away from home. The garage, Sure would be nice if it had some more heat though.


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## REPETER (Oct 3, 2007)

Great topic! Here's the way I figure...Don't set their expectations too high. Be grateful when they let you be a man. And never feel bad about manipulating them a little because it's very likely that they're manipulating you a lot! So, if the wife asks...

How much was that new (insert fishing or hunting item)?
Always tell her that it was about $100-$200 more then it actually was! Sounds dumb right? I mean we already know we spent too much. But that's the genius of it. "Oh this new ice hut? $400"...Then later if she's getting pissy about it, ask how much she thinks it was (of course she'll spit back that you already told her it was $400). Then say, "Opps. I didn't mean $400. It was only $300." See? Now she's thinking you got a deal and she's not mad anymore!


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## Nambaster (Nov 15, 2007)

I heard on another thread that when you are planning a hunting trip tell her that your 3 day hunting trip is going to be 5 days and then when you come home early you tell her that you missed her and the kids so much that you had to come home.....


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