# EVER WONDER?



## proutdoors (Sep 24, 2007)

> EVER WONDER

> Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

> Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?

> Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

> Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?

> *Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?

> Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dish washing liquid made with real lemons?

> Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

> Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

> Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

> When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?

> Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

> Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

> You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff??

> Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

> Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

> If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

> If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
------------------
> In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:

> On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. ( I have no other time to dry my hair).

> On a bag of Fritos: ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special?)

> On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how...?)

> On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." ( But, it's "just" a suggestion).

> On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well... a bit late, huh?)

> On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...noooo... Really?)

> On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)

> On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

> On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and.. .I'm taking this because...?)

> On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to... what?)

> On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

> On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash)

> On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)

> On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)


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## wapiti67 (Oct 2, 2007)

Why didn't he drown both those cats too?


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## callofthewild (Sep 7, 2007)

why don't eggs taste like chicken?


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## huntingbuddy (Sep 10, 2007)

proutdoors said:


> > On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)


ROFLMAO


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## FROGGER (Oct 1, 2007)

wapiti67 said:


> Why didn't he drown both those cats too?


Amen brother, +1


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## JAT83 (Sep 9, 2007)

FishGlyph said:


> proutdoors said:
> 
> 
> > Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
> ...


+1

I'll have to remember this list! :lol:


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