# Nursery Rhymes we didn't have as kids



## Artoxx (Nov 12, 2008)

-----Nursery Rhymes we didn't have as kids.........


Mary had a little pig, 
She kept it fat and plastered; 
And when the price of pork went up, 
She shot the little *******. 
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MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB 
Her father shot it dead. 
Now it goes to school with her, 
Between two hunks of bread. 
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JACK AND JILL Went up the hill 
To have a little fun. 
Stupid Jill forgot the pill 
And now they have a son. 
******************** 

SIMPLE SIMON met a Pie man going to the fair. 
Said Simple Simon to the Pie man, 
'What have you got there?' 
Said the Pie man unto Simon, 
'Pies, you DumbAss.' 
******************** 

HUMPTY DUMPTY sat on a wall, 
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. 
All the kings' horses, 
And all the kings' men 
Had scrambled eggs 
For breakfast again. 
******************** 

HEY DIDDLE, DIDDLE the cat took a piddle, 
All over the bedside clock. 
The little dog laughed to see such fun. 
Then died of electric shock. 
******************** 

GEORGIE PORGY Pudding and Pie, 
Kissed the girls and made them cry. 
And when the boys came out to play, 
He kissed them too 'cause he was gay 
******************** 

There was a little girl who had a little curl 
Right in the middle of her forehead. 
When she was good, she was very, very good. 
But when she was bad........ 
She got a fur coat, jewels, a waterfront condo, and a sports car.


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## MeanGene (Nov 18, 2008)

Those cracked me up. Good ones. :rotfl: :rotfl: -_O- -_O- -_O-


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## Packfish (Oct 30, 2007)

I was born in the 50's and 3 of those were around in my grade school years.


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## bowgy (Oct 10, 2007)

I'm sorry to say I still remember......


"Mary had a little sheep.
With that sheep she went to sleep.
That sheep turned out to be a ram.
Mary had a little lamb"


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## JAT83 (Sep 9, 2007)

Those were hillarious...now we need to think of some more and make a whole book! :lol:


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## cowmilker (Dec 17, 2008)

Nobody's heard this one. My Mom and Sister made this one up for a poetry assignment in Jr High.
There once was a cow named Mable,
She gave all the milk she was able,
She was utterly dense and jumped over the fence,
Now she's the meat on our table.


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## MeanGene (Nov 18, 2008)

Here's one I remember from high school.
There once was a man from Nantuckett
Who's.....

OH wait, never mind.


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