# Jokes that may get you killed...



## wapiti67 (Oct 2, 2007)

So I got in a argument with my girlfriend, and my Mom said I should try to see it from her perspective...so I looked out the kitchen window.

how many guys does it take to open a beer? 0... the beer should be open when she hands it to you.

Why don't women know how to ski?
Because it doesn't snow between the kitchen and the bedroom.

What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
A battery has a positive side.

Why don’t women wear watches?
There’s a clock on the stove.

What do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes?
Nothing, she's been told twice already.

Why did the woman cross the road?
(A)Who cares? What the hell is she doing out of the kitchen?

Why do women have smaller feet than men?
(A) So they can stand closer to the sink.

Why do men name their penises?
Because they want to be on a first-name basis with the one who makes all their decisions.

How many men does it take to pop popcorn?
Three. One to hold the pan and two others to act macho and shake the stove.

Why don’t women blink during foreplay? They don’t have time.


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## Loke (Sep 7, 2007)

My wife said they are not funny.


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## waspocrew (Nov 26, 2011)

Same here. But I did!


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## Packfish (Oct 30, 2007)

*Re: The # 1 Joke that may get you killed...*

And the #1 joke that might get you killed.

I was in the pub last night and noticed two portly women at the bar- I could tell by their conversation that they weren't from the USA and probably were from Scotland. So I wandered over and asked " Young ladies you wouldn't happen to be from Scotland would you ?" One of them defiantly screamed " it's Wales you idiot." So I said I was sorry and replied " Are you whales from Scotland ? "


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