# Regrets?



## Clarq (Jul 21, 2011)

Hey everyone,

I don't want to depress anyone with this post, but there's a question I've been wanting to ask for a long time:

*What are your regrets, as they relate to the ways and the times you have spent hunting, fishing, and in the outdoors? Or, if you want to put a more positive spin on the question, what have you done that left you with no regrets?*

I've wanted to ask this question for the following reasons:

1. Experience is the best teacher
2. Hindsight is 20/20
3. Lessons learned the hard way are usually the most impactful
4. There's a lot of collective wisdom on this forum
5. I've been feeling a little lost lately, and I'm trying to figure out if I'm living life the way I should

I'd welcome a variety of perspectives. Chime in whether you think you spent too much time/money hunting or not enough. Talk about trips you wish you would have taken, or trips you wish you wouldn't have taken. Or maybe some attitudes or beliefs you held that ultimately weren't correct or useful.

I'll clue you in on a few recent events that got me thinking about all this:

- My 88 year-old grandpa telling me I spend too much money/time on hunting, and not enough on women and building a family (I'm mid-20s and single. He has 6 kids, 30+ grandchildren and I-don't-know-how-many great-grandkids.)

- My very financially-savvy, retired friend telling me he wishes he would have bought a few more guns when he was younger

- My aging father sitting down with me and telling me that he thinks he's holding me back on my hunting adventures, and he's ok with it if I go on without him (what am I supposed to say to that?)

I want to do whatever I can to minimize future regrets, and I really appreciate any insight you can give me and others like me.

Thank you.


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## Clarq (Jul 21, 2011)

Here are a few things that come to mind for me:

- I wish I had gotten into the bonus point game sooner.

- I wish I wouldn’t have let the less-than-ideal actions of other hunters (skybusting, crowding me out, scaring animals away, etc.) affect my mood. Time spent hunting can be great, even when things don’t work out.

- I wish I realized how quickly my dog would get old, and my dad’s mobility would diminish. I wish I would have realized how rare and valuable my hunting trips with them were. I’m not even very old, and I’ve already lost some things that I will never get back.

- I wish I would have taken more pictures. It still bothers me that I don’t have a picture of me with my first elk at age 13. Dad didn’t pack the camera for the sake of minimizing weight (this was before we had phone cameras).

On the more positive side, 

- I don’t regret the trips I’ve taken to the Midwest to chase Snow Geese. I also don’t regret my trip to Colorado this year to hunt a bighorn sheep ewe, even though it was absurdly expensive.

- I don’t regret hunting deer with my dad all these years, even though we’re probably the worst deer hunters on the UWN.

- I don’t regret picking up some of the empty beer cans or spent shells I’ve come across while hunting.

- I don’t regret supporting conservation organizations, the Utah Waterfowl Slam, or other programs that promote wildlife and habitat.


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## johnnycake (Jul 19, 2011)

Dude, you're young. Don't let the prevailing insanity around you in Utah make you think you need to be serious and find an egg donor and start cranking out kids. While I love my family, I absolutely recognize that getting married at 22 and having my first kid two years later closed the doors on many personal/selfish opportunities. Granted, when it comes to hunting opportunities, most of those will still be there and doable after my kids are grown, so it's more of a delay than a loss. 

As for regrets, certain taxidermy indulgences I would in hindsight have preferred to use the money on more hunting instead. 

But the biggest regret I have, and still fight with, is cancelling my plans for an outing because last minute everybody who promised to go bailed for one reason or another. I don't particularly enjoy doing most hunting or fishing things alone (and my wife really hates it when I do), but I'd still rather do that than just sit on the couch wishing.

The greatest thing I've done in the context of your post that had left me with zero regrets was moving to Alaska. If I had to do it all over again, I might make a few changes to other things, but those would all primarily be aimed at getting out of Utah and established in Alaska even faster than I did.


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## CPAjeff (Dec 20, 2014)

Clarq - good questions man!

My biggest regret is my profession choice. School came easy for me and I tried to follow in the footsteps of someone I really look up to. He’s an incredible man, but I went into accounting because he was uber successful at it, instead of choosing a profession that better suited me. Something in the medical field, a professor, or a teacher would have been a place where I found more fulfillment. 

If I could go back to the 21 year old me, I tell him to get a Masters in Education, and move to Wyoming. There is no way in hell that I could’ve got my wife to move to Alaska like Mr. JC did, but I could’ve swung Wyoming pretty easily. I could’ve made a good income and got to do a vast majority of the hunting adventures that really appeal to me for a fraction of what they’ll cost me as a nonresident. 

As far as marriage and kids - I’m not a good advice giver because I’m biased! I got married at 22 and had three kids by the time I was 31. There is no hunt, no adventure, no amount of gear that I would trade for my family. Marriage and children are such personal decisions that no one can tell you what is “right” for you. Utah is a crazy place to be, if getting married before you can really grow a beard and have a passel of children before you’ve completed your undergraduate degree is not your style ...

Finances - you’ve worked hard to get an education and a good job. Be smart with your money, but enjoy life. Everyone needs an “out” - if hunting and spending money on hunts is yours - GREAT! I’ll bet your ability to be in the hills will run out much faster than your ability to make money. I used to have a few more guns, but I’ve narrowed the collection down to one rifle, one shotgun, one .22, and one ml. I’d much rather spend the money on hunts/tags than on different guns.

A few of my hunting regrets:

I wish I would’ve gotten in the bonus point game earlier, not only in Utah, but other states as well. 

I wish I would’ve told my Dad he was crazy much sooner in life when he said not to hunt antelope because they tasted bad. 

I wish I would’ve spend more money on hunting trips when I was a teenager instead of on dates. Darn girls ...


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## Lone_Hunter (Oct 25, 2017)

Yeesshh... where do I begin...

I regret not doing better in school before I joined the military. At the time (early 90s), that was my end all be all career goal, and I never forseaw it being pulled out from under me.

While in the military, I've a long list of regrets that go beyond the purview of this post. Two words though :Clinton Drawdown.

Knowing what I know about myself now, I regret not moving to Alaska when I left active duty. I had the mentality, physical shape, and the skills to do well up there in some construction related field. I probably would have done well and created a homestead for myself after putting in my dues.

I regret being obsessed with computers, computer games. When the power goes out, all that crap ceases to exist and you've got nothing in the real world, and none of that crap helps you exceed in the real world. Ever see someone get super angry because the power went out or they lost internet connection? There's a dependency there.....

I regret working in Information Technology from 2001 to 2014. While I had a steady job (unusual in that industry), and a steady income, and the overall stability to buy a home, aside from that... I consider it 13 years of my life wasted. None of the skills I learned there help me now.

I reget not getting back into the outdoors sooner. As a kid my father took me hunting, and I was always in the mountains. Hiking clubs, solo hiking, I loved the mountains. Somewhere between uncle sam and working in IT, i forgot what I loved.

I regret being in my mid 40's before waking up. I've a lot of lost time to make up for. I was watching one of Randy Newbergs latest videos the other day and It ended with a quote:

"Hunt when you can, you'll run out of health before you run out of money".

Dang right. Some will call me young at 45, and comparatively their right. But I've the foresight to see that time is FLYING by REALLY fast. I'm not wasting a single season. edit: Early spring scouting, Spring turkey, summer scouting, fall big game, winter coyotes or hares, I'm doing it all.

When I die, I don't want to lay there on my death bed with the regret of a wasted life. I want to move to Alaska, and the ONLY reason I don't is for love of family. On that note, I need to work on being a better husband and father. It's not easy for me sometimes, because I'm used to being by myself. I've been on my own most of my life, friends have been few and far between, and I never thought I'd marry and have a kid. People come and go, nobody stays. That has been the way of things.


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## taxidermist (Sep 11, 2007)

Regrets???? I don't regret the choices I've made, just "wished" I'd have done some things different.


1-I've often wondered if I had gone to spring training camp, if I'd have made it to the 
"Big Show"?? (CPA got me thinking about the carrier choice thing) Family business came priority for me at that time. 


2-Should I have shot that 330 Bull the last day of my LE hunt instead of eating tag soup?


I'm pleased the way my life has turned out so far and I don't really have regrets.


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## Vanilla (Dec 11, 2009)

Dang. This is deep. I’ve made lots of mistakes, both in hunting and out. But I truly only have only one hunting regret in my life. 

I was in my second year of law school and was working as a law clerk for a county attorney’s office. My dad, after many, many years of applying drew a Deseret bull elk tag. My brother was going up with him on a Thursday to hunt, and they were going back up on Saturday. I had to work Thursday at my really important $12/hour part time job I was supposed to have until I took the bar, so I said I’d join them on Saturday. 

Well, as luck would have it, my dad killed his bull that Thursday. I was obviously not there for it. Two months later my dad had a stroke, never recovered, and after several months passed away. That spring the county ended their law clerk program and laid us all off with no notice while I was off taking finals that semester leaving me scrambling to find something for my resume and royally screwing me over. Going to work that day may not be just my only hunting regret, but might be my only true single regret in my life. Like I said, I make lots of mistakes, but I just chalk that up to part of the plan. This one still haunts my 10 years later though, and I’m not sure I’ll ever really forgive myself for it. 

I take a lot of time off work now to go on hunts with other people. Far more than I do to hunt my own tags. I’m not making that mistake again. Ever. There isn’t a day of work worth missing out on important experiences with your family, whether it is hunting or otherwise. You never know when those opportunities won’t be available again.


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## middlefork (Nov 2, 2008)

Mid 20's seems a little young to have very many regrets.

When I was that young I regretted not climbing the North Face of the Eiger and going on a Himalayan expedition. But the whole military and get married and have kids made me second guess my priorities.

When I was 21 I was lucky enough to find a job in an industry I loved and paid enough to live a somewhat comfortable life.

There has always been a search for balance and all in all I do not complain about the choices I've made.

No regrets in hunting but I have never been one that wanted to do anything too exotic.

Almost exactly a year ago I had to make a decision as to if I wanted to live or die. And to tell the truth it would have been much easier to die. Thankfully with the support of family and friends I have slowly been able to get back to the point I can do the activities I have always enjoyed. Although not at the level I could when younger.

Looking back now I cannot come up with regrets. Mistakes for sure. Not regrets.


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## Jedidiah (Oct 10, 2014)

I regret not going hunting/fishing more, that's pretty much it.

You're never going to NOT regret spending more time with those who have passed if they were good people, that's the way it works. Feeling guilty about that last time isn't productive, you were always eventually going to have that one last time you didn't get to spend time.


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## High Desert Elk (Aug 21, 2012)

With Vanilla on this, the only thing being dedicated to a job working for someone else and only drawing wages will give you is heartache and grief.

Regrets in hunting is not saying no to "work demands" and going on a spring turkey hunt that turned out to be epic for those that went. Eventually ended up losing my career anyway despite being dedicated.

Regret in life, getting an engineering degree and settling on working for a company. Should've set myself up to work for me with that degree or staying with the medical field degree program instead of switching.


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## Jedidiah (Oct 10, 2014)

Yeah, definitely, sorry if it looked like I was saying or making judgments at all about choosing work. I have no opinion either way about that, you have to do what's right for you. I was just making a comment about how it's more common than not to have regrets about people who are gone and you just can't let it eat you up.


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## Critter (Mar 20, 2010)

I have always had my hunting and fishing priorities in the right place. All anyone had to do was to ask and I was gone. I actually quit one job when the boss told me that I couldn't have any time off. Strange thing is that I was hired back on by his boss a couple of weeks after I got back home. 

However my biggest regret was not being able to actually go hunting with my dad. He had taken me hunting when I was too young to remember up until I was 5 years old, I do however remember some of that hunt like the car breaking down and the trip home in a friend's truck. After that my dad was too busy earning a living as we traveled around the country with his job. Then once I turned 16 he was too sick to actually get out and do anything in the hills. But I always made sure that there was wild game meat in the freezer and fresh deer liver every fall. 

I still have my moms last hunting and fishing license from 1958 but have no idea what happened to my dads

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## Jedidiah (Oct 10, 2014)

Hey, if it helps you guys convince your wife to let you go out alone, get a tracker app on your phone. I use Life 360 so she can see if I start slowly drifting across a lake or if my phone ends up in a coyote den, that way she knows to call the insurance people.


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## scartinez (Apr 22, 2008)

I have two things I wished I would have learned earlier. 
Enjoy the journey more then the destination. It is not all about the kill. Enjoy the solitude, the beauty, the time with family and friends. 
Don't let other people's cancelled plans affect yours. Hunting alone is now my favorite way to hunt. Something about being in the mountains alone that brings me closer to nature.


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## Dunkem (May 8, 2012)

One thing, do it while you are able! Our bodies wear out, but the desire still exists


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## taxidermist (Sep 11, 2007)

Dunkem said:


> One thing, do it while you are able! Our bodies wear out, but the desire still exists


So true!!!!!


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## High Desert Elk (Aug 21, 2012)

Dunkem said:


> One thing, do it while you are able! Our bodies wear out, but the desire still exists


Yep. Feel it more every year!


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## Critter (Mar 20, 2010)

Dunkem said:


> One thing, do it while you are able! Our bodies wear out, but the desire still exists


And do more after you are 60 than you did in the previous 60 years.

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## Packout (Nov 20, 2007)

One regret is not hunting with my Dad more. He hung up his orange hat over a decade ago and I miss the lost opportunities to make more memories. For about a decade before he hung it up, I really wanted to kill a score buck- so bad that I passed on multiple 190"+ bucks over the course of 3 seasons. It was foolish of me. Then the sands of time had slipped out of my hands and our hunting adventures ceased. 

As it relates to hunting, I don't regret having kids in my 20s. Hunting with my kids has been so much fun that I can't imagine having those antlers hanging on the wall without their attached memories. I have a state record animal which I killed alone that I rarely see, while a small set of antlers which I killed with my family hangs where I see it everyday.

I have 0 regrets of missing some hunts while supporting their games or concerts. I have 0 regrets on not filling my tags to help them. (I agree with Johnny that you shouldn't find an egg donor. I disagree with his statement on the Utah culture- we can all decide who, how and when fits our own life.) I really like the idea of hunting with my grandkids- and the only way to do that is to have kids who can then have my grandkids at a time while I can still get out. My teenage daughter shot a large mule deer this year- bigger than anything I'll ever kill. Having kids may give a guy more hunts in the end! 

My occupation doesn't lend itself to hunting so my last regret is that my kids have never been to a deer camp. They have hunted a lot and been successful. But they never were able to sit around a campfire for 3 days. We mostly have to hunt just mornings or evenings. 

Good topic, lots of ways to live life.

..


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## Iron Bear (Nov 19, 2008)

Lifetime license! It seemed so expensive at the time.


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## Catherder (Aug 2, 2008)

A few random comments.

1.


Clarq said:


> - My aging father sitting down with me and telling me that he thinks he's holding me back on my hunting adventures, and he's ok with it if I go on without him (what am I supposed to say to that?)


It is hard to know exactly, without all the facts, but it could be your dads way of saying that he doesn't want to go all out/ steep-n-deep, hard core anymore. However, if he is still enjoys a lower intensity hunt, join him at his pace and enjoy the experience. Before Dad passed, his health slowed him down such that he couldn't go all out like he used to. However, I will never regret hunting with him the last few years, mostly puttering along the roads, reminiscing, watching the wildlife, and even occasionally harvesting a deer or two. (or not) Both of us couldn't have been happier out there in the field. Don't worry that it isn't how the cool kids on UWN or Monster Muleys hunt. Soon enough, the opportunity to hunt together is gone for good.

2. The things I regretted when I was your age seem to have all worked out now that I have a little more wear on the tread. I think this is common.

3. A number of guys my age regret that they didn't apply themselves more in school/college. However, very few regret that they didn't work more. Food for thought if you are still in that phase of life.

4. I cannot think of any time that I regretted going fishing or hunting, camping, hiking, etc.

5. OK, one small regret that is hunting related. I wish I had jumped into the bison pool sooner. 

TOTP!


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## middlefork (Nov 2, 2008)

Hunt camps.... My dad's work schedule was never a given. His schedule was determined on how the freight trains were running. The up side was he could hunt during the week when others couldn't. He seemed to think it was an advantage even in the 50's and 60's.

Maybe because of the few times he took me out I was impressed with the experience. Who knows? But I was hooked. And I should say that I remember many a Sunday drive looking for deer or pheasants. Candy bars were a learning tool. I spent a lot of time looking for critters to earn a reward.

But i will say he did everything to introduce us to a lot of different experiences in life and for that I will always thank him.

Nothing wrong at all with hunting but don't put all your eggs in one basket no matter how you feel at the moment.


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## middlefork (Nov 2, 2008)

Iron Bear said:


> Lifetime license! It seemed so expensive at the time.


Ok, so that maybe too. But that was a mistake and not a regret


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## sawsman (Sep 13, 2007)

I'll put it this way..

For me, I'm still searching for that elusive 30" mule deer buck. But, if my 'ole man, son, brother or friends are not along for the quest it means very little if I get one.

I'm all about the journey with friends and family. The animals have always been a bonus.

Life is short my friends - Look forward!


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## AF CYN (Mar 19, 2009)

My main regret regarding the outdoors is that I hunted too hardcore to bring my kids along when they were young. Now they're old enough to come along, but don't have much interest in it. I wonder if I had nurtured them along rather than maximizing my adventures if they would have caught the bug. Now I regret that my time spent outdoors is time away from my family.


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## 2full (Apr 8, 2010)

The lifetime license was the best thing I ever did as far as hunting goes. :smile:

There is a couple of nights that I do regret from when I was younger.....had to learn a couple of lessons the hard way. Wish I could go back and have a redo or two. 

Been thinking about this all day as I followed this thread. There has been some very, very great points made. I also would have loved to have more time with my Dad growing up. But like others have said, he worked a whole lot and then had his church jobs after that. I really tried not to be that way with my kids. But, I figured out in my early 20's that you can have time and no money, or money and no time. 
So I worked a lot of hours for a lot of years to set myself up to take care of our family. 
I was lucky enough to be able to move back home with a job I liked and making good money. 
I worked a lot of hours, but was home for dinner every night. When my girls were young the family dinner was a pain to them. But as they got older they came to appreciate it. When in high school and college if they were home that night they wanted that time together. Now they do that themselves and they bring the grandkids for the family dinners at our house when it works out. 
As they were playing softball, basketball, and dance in high school I caught most of the home games, but only got to catch a few road games. Would change that for sure if I could. 
I took them hunting and fishing whenever they wanted to go. I never wanted to make it a pressure situation. We had some good times kicking around. Now I take the grandkids. 
I have learned to slow down and enjoy life more the last few years. I got to change careers 9 years ago with less hours and a slower pace. That has been a nice change. Retirement is really close. :grin:
Then I can do all the fishing and hunting I want, with a little golf thrown in. 
Just have to hope the health holds up. 

Ya, there is some things I'd do a little differently. But all in all, I've been pretty lucky.


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## Lone_Hunter (Oct 25, 2017)

Dunkem said:


> One thing, do it while you are able! Our bodies wear out, but the desire still exists


Out of curiosity, how many have knee issues? A couple years ago, I noticed it hurt going downhill in my right knee. Sat my butt on one of those recumberant bikes that was originally intended for my wife, and that pain went away. I thought I was through it. On Christmas eve, "Santa" twisted his knee from pulling presents from behind the basement archery target. It feels ok now, no longer hurts, but last night made some strange popping noises when I thought I could pedal that bike a few minute, and maybe get some strength back into that knee. -O,-

Speaking of Christmas, my dad gifted me his bow that he took several deer with. It's a 2001 PSE Mohave. Which is a step up from that 1991 PSE edge I harvested a cow with this year. I view it has having been passed down, now it's up to me to continue with it; if I can.

As hunting regrets go, I still regret that buck I missed last muzzy season. Shot downhill and didn't consider the angle, didn't have a range finder, didn't take my pack off. I"m pretty sure it went right over him. I worked really hard for several days for that moment, and I blew it. At the least, it was a good stalk, got to within 20 yards before he flushed.


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## Clarq (Jul 21, 2011)

Thanks everyone, lots of good stuff to think about. I like how some of you are differentiating mistakes vs. regrets. I think I should try to do a little more of that moving forward.

Prior to posting, I had been kicking a few ideas around for next year. I had considered getting a nice gun or two. Or maybe another high-mountain big game adventure, like last year. Or, saving up for a few years and then heading after mountain goats or moose in Canada.

At this point, though, I think my next adventure had better involve my dad. I think we'd both enjoy a South Dakota pheasant hunt. Feel free to send a PM if you know a good guide service.


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## High Desert Elk (Aug 21, 2012)

Lone_Hunter said:


> Out of curiosity, how many have knee issues?


Yep. Have a T-shirt for that one.


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## ridgetop (Sep 13, 2007)

I've had knee problems for about 10 years now. So I'm regretting all the steep downhill assents. 
Also, regret not just sticking with one OIL animal and sticking with deer earlier than I did. I think I now have 11 deer points, 6 pronghorn and 2 elk. I sure wished I had all 19 points in deer right now.


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## 3arabians (Dec 9, 2014)

I regret quitting on the last day of my LE elk hunt in 2013 because I was wore out and let the pressure get to me. I will always look back on that hunt and wonder what the last day might have produced if I had sucked it up. 

I also regret not getting into the OIL points game as soon as I was old enough instead of waiting until 27 years old. 


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## middlefork (Nov 2, 2008)

3arabians said:


> I also regret not getting into the OIL points game as soon as I was old enough instead of waiting until 27 years old.
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


Admittedly I've never applied for OIL hunts. I have no desire to hunt the species involved.

I have however been on a few of the hunts for them and while it has always been a ton of fun helping the hunters it never ceases to amaze me the pressure on the tag holder it creates.

I was pretty lucky on my LE elk hunt as I harvested a nice bull I was happy with on the next to the last day of the season. If the opportunity presented its self later that day or I got it or the next I'm pretty sure I would never have recovered the bull.

I hunted 18 days and my son will attest to the fact he ran me into the ground during the hunt. Although I appreciate the experience I feel pretty confident I could have walked away with no regrets.


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## ridgetop (Sep 13, 2007)

3arabians said:


> I regret quitting on the last day of my LE elk hunt in 2013 because I was wore out and let the pressure get to me. I will always look back on that hunt and wonder what the last day might have produced if I had sucked it up.
> 
> I also regret not getting into the OIL points game as soon as I was old enough instead of waiting until 27 years old.
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


I know what you mean. I did the same thing on my 2014 deer hunt. I had been looking for a true OIL buck all season. I first found him in Sept. but never could relocate him again. About 1:00pm on the last day I finally said, "hell with it" and walked off the mountain. I've always stayed until dark on the last day in the past. 
I also regret passing on so many nice bucks in the past. I was so hung up on trying to find that 30" wide or 180"+ buck.


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## Airborne (May 29, 2009)

Good Thread!

I'll stick with hunting related as the other could fill a book!

I could name specifics, but I will try to keep these general and mainly hunting related:

•	Regarding family members telling you to tone down the hunting and be more family oriented. Every person is different and people value things differently. Just because grandad values family and popping out puppies more than you do doesn’t make him correct or superior. I push back when I hear this from family members regarding these things. I love my family and do my best to take care of them but by god I am a hunter and I place a lot of value on that! Tell grandpa the freeways are already too crowded, and he should have hunted more! The most important decision you will make is who you marry and if you have kids, this should not be rushed or taken lightly.

•	Really give it some thought on where you get the most pleasure from hunting and outdoor pursuits. Write down your goals and put your time and money towards those things. Be as efficient as possible with your time and money. Make short term and long term goals and stick to them. I wasted many years hunting some animals when I would have enjoyed hunting other critters much more.

•	Drop the ego when hunting and what it means to be successful. I hunted with a stick bow for many years and enjoyed it but a lot of the reason was because I wanted to impress folks. Guess what—Nobody Cares! Hunt what you want and do it for yourself. I still love the stick bow but I would have found more success with a compound or rifle and had more successful and fulfilling hunts. Same goes with Antler size—nobody cares and it’s ego based. Kill what makes you happy not what you think impresses people.

•	Be careful who you hunt with and who you mentor or take hunting. I have had trips ruined by hunting with folks that were not like minded. Hunting partners are like a spouse (without the snuggling!), they can enhance a trip and make it better or absolutely ruin it. Good like-minded hunting partners are extremely rare. Also, be careful who you show/tell areas and hunts to. Some folks won’t value it and will hot spot an area with others and ruin it. Sometimes it’s just best to hunt alone—I have never had a bad experience going solo.

•	There are ton of OTC hunts in Utah or within a days drive in neighboring states that are amazing! Sometimes you need to think out of the box on this one. Put the time in, research, and network. Don’t sit on the sidelines waiting for that ‘amazing’ tag when you can have tons of fun on an upland hunt or a waterfowl hunt or an OTC big game hunt in a neighboring state. Lot’s of guys with knowledge out there to share, ya just have to ask. This forum is a good place to start.

There ya go—my 2 cents on what I wish I would have known when I got out of the Army and moved back to Utah 16 years ago.


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## shaner (Nov 30, 2007)

Big regret: buying a moose point every year for something that will most likely never happen.

Non-regret: Retiring. I just turned 51 last October but had enough years of service last July to pull a full pension. While talking over options with people everyone said “keep working/make more money”.
Guess what, I didn’t listen to them!
I make dinner for my wife most nights, clean the kitchen most days, and last week I ice fished three days and elk hunted one day.
Life is good...


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## Critter (Mar 20, 2010)

Shaner, good for you. 

I retired at 55 and now I am 66 and as I look back at it I think of the extra money that I could of earned plus socking more of it into my retirement account. 

I then think of all the things that I have done in the last 11 years and I wouldn't change a thing. Between all the fishing and hunting trips I try to do some things around the house. The last two summers I did more work on the house than I had done in a very long time, but it needed it. Now I am set up for next summers fishing and adventure trips.


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## johnnycake (Jul 19, 2011)

Airborne said:


> Hunting partners are like a spouse (without the snuggling!)


Wait, are you saying you DON'T snuggle with your hunting buddies? Have I been doing it wrong all this time?!


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## Vanilla (Dec 11, 2009)

One other regret I have is that I have 22 elk points and only 9 bison points. Someone is going to have to explain to me why I did not start applying for OIL species when I did for elk. 

Also, I have two random years that I didn't apply for an elk permit. I don't know why? It is just silly. I could have 24 points. 

I'm dumb. No other explanation for it.


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## shaner (Nov 30, 2007)

Thanks Critter.
I hear ya about home repairs.
I finished a plumbing and a few electrical jobs I had been putting off for nearly a decade.
Take care, Shane


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## caddis8 (Sep 10, 2007)

This is a great post. 

Clarq- I'll try to answer as I remember them, but there's a ton of good advice already given. I'd disagree with a few things and agree with others, but it's my .02 which isn't worth a nickel.

1- Your grandpa has had experience and perspective. As you get older family and togetherness becomes more important. If he doesn't hunt much, then he may think you're wasting your time. Only you can answer that. Regarding marriage and family- Getting married was the best thing that happened to me. I hunted and fished every second I could when single and probably every second I could when I got married. My hobbies became resentments to my wife over time as she had little ones at home while I was having fun. There will usually be a rub on time pursuits in marriage. That happens. Learning to not be selfish is a life long pursuit and I'd like to think we've both mellowed out. It does help I can take the boys along with me which leaves mama with little sister and they can do what they want. But, hunting and fishing does take a backseat to my family. But it also doesn't mean i give it all up for family either. I thought single life was great, and I was good at it. But getting married was and is much more fulfilling than any hunt I've ever been on. And I love hunting and fishing, a lot. It's my escape from daily pressures and stress relief. My wife now sees that and she encourages it. It used to be she thought I didn't want to spend time with her or I loved it more than her. Not the case, it was just a way to stay sane.

2- You're giving too much power to other people. Only you decide how you feel and you give yourself permission to feel whatever you do. Someone skybusts? They're dumb. oh well. Life's too short to be mad at dumb people becasue there are tons of them. And they also may not know any better. Or they're out for a different reason for you. If we put our values on others choices then we're always going to be upset. Not worth it to me. 

3- You said what I would suggest with your dad. If you're making good money (and it seems you are) then go do something with him that isn't so hardcore. Go hire a fly fishing guide somewhere you've never been. Go do something that isn't so intense for him. I moved away 13 years ago from my family in Cache Valley and settled here. What was supposed to be 2 years is now 13 years. We love it out in the prairie, are looking to get closer to family (have purchased land in Swan Valley, ID), will build there sometime when I can afford it. However, my dad and brothers come out here pheasant and goose hunting with me every year. They see more geese in a day than they will in a season. They see more pheasants in a day than they will in several seasons. They're now bringing out their kids. But some of my most cherished time is when it's just my dad hunting with me and my boys. The dove hunt with dad is special. He didn't hunt with me this year or maybe next year because he's overseas, but we both miss it. I'm the youngest so I had the blessing and opportunity to hunt and fish with him (mostly fish) as he had more time and ability to go than when I was younger. Those are some cherished memories. 

4- Regarding finances. Don't be stupid, but be generous. If you can take a kid hunting do it. If you can afford to get the kid set up to do it, then do that too. I've had the opportunity to be able to show people how to hunt with good access and set them up. Some were miserable, but some were awesome. I've had a lot of friends move from the Cabela's fiasco with BP buying them and laying everyone off. So I'm kind of alone now, and having friends and family to share it with is a lot better. I choose to pay a good portion of money to have access to ground and have minimal partners on that ground so I can take people with me and do it my way. It's not much fun to go alone, frankly. Because most of the memories are made in the time and conversations on the way. 

5- Also regarding finances. Don't spend it all on your hobbies. Your hobbies become your children's obsessions. I've been fortunate to accumulate most of the stuff I could ever want in terms of guns, rods, optics, etc. Now I get to buy it for my kids and that's even more fun! But I make my kids work for it and then we split the cost. They value it more and it teaches them a good lesson. Hard work brings money. Hard work brings toys. You appreciate it more if you worked for it a bit. 


You'll figure it out. My biggest regret? I can't really say that I have many. I had opportunities to do some great things, but it would have been the expense of something more important to me. Turned down a guided free whitetail hunt because it was over Halloween. I'm ok with that. Turned down an Alaska fishing trip because I couldn't afford it. People thought I was nuts. But I don't ever buy something I don't have cash for. Paid off my house because of it. 

Time has a way of softening us and seeing what's really important. I watched my kid shoot 4 of 6 geese a couple of weeks ago and I barely shouldered my gun and it was fantastic. Then he had to clean them! Watching them and teaching them is far more rewarding than going at it alone.


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## AF CYN (Mar 19, 2009)

Caddis8 gave very thoughtful and sound advice.


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## rtockstein (Mar 17, 2019)

I'm still young (33), but have learned alot about myself in the last few years.

As far as hunting goes, my only regret has ever been that I will occasionally let myself get too serious or worked up about filling a tag, to the detriment of my own enjoyment and experience and possibly to others with me.

My life regrets related to my hobbies and selfishness with them are only that I tend to be obsessive with them to the point that it can sometimes isolate me from the people I love... And generally our passions are more enjoyable when shared with loved ones.

My only other regret is that I didn't make it to Utah to find my wife earlier in my life. I'm now 33, newly married, and unsure if I'll be able to have a child of my own.

While being young and not worrying about the future of life, family, and responsibility is awesome, I do you occasionally wish I would have gotten my **** together before I turned 31.


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## 2full (Apr 8, 2010)

When this thread started I had just gotten back the results on my psa test that I have done every 12- 18 months. My already high score had come back more than double the usual score. I flunked 2 tests last year before passing the third test. 
I was waiting for my appointment with the urologist which was scheduled 5 weeks away. 
They got a cancelation for last Friday and called because of my score. So last Friday I went in for more testing. I flunked that test as well. 
While doing that test he found another issue, with my bladder. 
So he did another test for that that would take 2-3 days to get back. 
He then scheduled a scope AND a biopsy right then for yesterday without even knowing the bladder score results.........the bladder test came back Monday.......flunked it even wore than the prostate test. 

So we did the scope and biopsy yesterday. (I don't advise doing both the same day, it sucked big time) But they didn't want to waste any time. 
The scope yesterday confirmed the Doc's concerns. I have a large cancerous growth in my bladder that has been there for a while. I also flunked the prostate biopsy. He took 12 chunks for tests. 
The Doc is way more concerned with the bladder deal. The prostate is being put on hold. 

So.....long story short, I'm having surgery this Friday morning. "Luckily ".......the cancer has grown into the bladder cavity instead of the bladder wall. So depending how deep the roots go into the muscle wall, will decide if I have to do chemo or not. Will tackle the prostate after some recovery time. 

The reason I even post this is that 13 years ago (the summer we were turning 50) I had a brother in law that had terminal prostate cancer. He married my wife's just younger sister. I graduated high school with him. Good man, good father, and good person. They came thru town in early July to see his family and his wife's family. 
He and I were talking on the front porch after dinner. 
He made me promise that I would get the Psa tests done on a regular basis. 
He passed away on that next Sunday morning. 
Hopefully honoring that promise will extend my life. They weren't looking for bladder problems. If not for the other deal it would have gotten very bad for sure. 

Don't regret taking care of yourself. 
The tests are a pain for sure, and not much fun......
But, do it for your family as well as yourself. 

I have had time to contemplate the last few days.


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## Critter (Mar 20, 2010)

It is the pits to get older every year. 

It seams that there are more and more test that they want to do to your body to make sure that everything is up to snuff. 

I have a physical scheduled for next week, they drained some blood out of me last week so we'll see if I am still alive or not. 

2full, here is to a successful procedure for you and hope that all comes out alright.


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## middlefork (Nov 2, 2008)

Best wishes 2full. 

Health issues are never fun and seem to grow as we age.
As a friend of mine used to say, "if I would have known I was going to live this long I would have taken better care of myself."


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## StillAboveGround (Aug 20, 2011)

The question for the ages... what should we do with our lives? 
Not that I am a model for anything, but I always made choices that allowed me to spend time outside everyday (if I wanted), so I have always been on the other side of the coin... 



I hunted, fished, camped, trapped raptors, traveled (what ever silly, selfish notion came into my head)... Over the years, many have told me I was lucky... But luck never had anything to do with it... 



I never had kids so I could make those selfish choices... And I sacrificed chances to make more money, so I always had to live simply.



Do I regret anything? Not sure I ever struck the right balance (we are all a work in progress), but no, I do not regret anything yet...
but my knees still work (original parts) and I can still (but barely) get an elk out of the woods by myself. 



Never ever heard any old timer say he wished he spent more time at work...


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## caddis8 (Sep 10, 2007)

2Full

Take care. That is some not fun stuff. You hear the C word and it can make one consider their ways and life. 

Good luck on the procedure and listen to the docs. They're pretty smart but things are advancing so fast that chances to positive outcomes are much higher now than they used to be.

Well wishes from the prairie.


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## CPAjeff (Dec 20, 2014)

2full - best of luck on the procedure!


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## wyogoob (Sep 7, 2007)

I hunted, fished and backpacked all over North America......a lot...no one would believe how much if I told them.

If I had it to do all over again I would spend more time with my family. In the end that's all you have.

Good luck 2full.


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## 2full (Apr 8, 2010)

Here is a little update. 

I have to be off work until Friday at least, as per the Doc. 
It's only Monday and already bored to death. I'll probably drive u guys crazy this week. 

The Doc said the bladder surgery went very well. He feels he got it all.
Get to have a CT scan tomorrow to make sure it not already spread to other parts of the body.
The worst part is I have to have the catheter until my follow up on Thursday. 
That thing really sucks -O,-

What is really, really good is the prostate biopsy came back with NO cancer. He had just received those results that morning. 
That even surprised the Doc. He gave us that info just as they were getting ready to take me to the OR. 
In his words: "your prostate is very swollen and angry, but no cancer." 
He has me on some stuff to shrink it. Better than another surgery for sure. 
So I'm really glad I kept up the yearly tests. Never would have known about the bladder deal until too late. With prostate and bladder cancers it is usually too late when the symptoms show up. 

You younger guys......please make sure you get on the test schedule as you hit the ages suggested.


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## caddis8 (Sep 10, 2007)

That is good new 2Full. Here's to not spreading at all. Still spooky stuff. Sorry about the catheter. Bad deal for sure. Just to give you something to look forward to: I hear they're worse to take out than get in. I have from valid sources that had one for kidney stones.


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## johnnycake (Jul 19, 2011)

2full said:


> Here is a little update.
> 
> I have to be off work until Friday at least, as per the Doc.
> It's only Monday and already bored to death. I'll probably drive u guys crazy this week.
> ...


That's great news 2full! Hopefully the rest of the testing and treatments go as positively.


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## katorade (Sep 23, 2007)

Mid 20's in the "Mormon Bubble" are a tough time with much scrutiny... I'm 25 and 
"STill" Not married haha, no kids, and my grandma, grandpa, uncle, sister, dog, goat, and Ex cousins girlfriend keep telling me I'll never get married if I keep hunting like I do...... 

My one regret is mounting to many ducks/geese. "I've got bills Taxidermy bills."
SpeckleBelly Goose, Banded pintail, Dads first duck, Dogs last wild bird, are the mounts I care about

Blue goose, ross goose, bufflehead, canvasback, redhead I wish I could get my money back on.

Oh well, I don't have to many regrets in life, but I'll be honest I'm about hunted out... For a few days anyways... I need a break. Where I'll focus on dating/setting myself up for a family life/future. If it works out and I find "her" at 25 great, if I'm 29 even better... I guided more hunts last fall than I care to admit but will keep doing it more, so I can cure my hunting itch/ If I'm guiding I'm making money while hunting, instead of hunting for myself for a lot of days/spending days not getting a paycheck.
But I don't regret the days I hunted without pay! "Elk antlers are a retirement plan, so killing elk is investing."

My advice is Hunt more, but don't hermit yourself off so much that you can't coax a good looking girl with her head on her shoulders, a pretty smile, and a good work ethic. Into thinking you're a good catch as well.


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