# couple one liners



## tuffluckdriller

Impotence...Nature's way of saying "No hard feelings."


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## tuffluckdriller

*Re: ED*

Everyone has the right to be stupid but you abuse the privlige.


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## Touch em all

Death is hereditary.


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## Touch em all

There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't.


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## Chaser

Diarrhea is hereditary-it runs in your jeans.


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## tuffluckdriller

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.


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## tuffluckdriller

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.


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## tuffluckdriller

When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a ten-year married man looks happy, we wonder why.


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## tuffluckdriller

After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool when I married you." And the husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice it."


Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.


A man inserted an ad in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."


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## Touch em all

Never go to bed angry, stay awake and plot your revenge.

I bet you I could stop gambling.


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## Chaser

Ladies- Don't forget; your husband wears the pants in your relationship.

Gentlemen- Don't forget; your wife tells you which ones to wear.


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## tuffluckdriller

Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how popular it remains?


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## tuffluckdriller

I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.


I used to be schizophrenic, but we're better now.


Men wouldn’t lie so much to the women in their life, if the women didn’t ask so many questions!.


The sooner you fall behind the more time you'll have to catch up.


Women marry because they believe that he will change one day. Men marry because they believe she’ll never change. Both are mistaken.


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## GaryFish

You can put your boots in the oven, but that don't make them biscuits.


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## tuffluckdriller

He's not stupid; he's possessed by a retarded ghost.


I'll never forget the first time we met - although I'll keep trying.


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## tuffluckdriller

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it, misdiagnosing it and then misapplying the wrong remedies.


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## pkred

Do elevators smell diffrent to midgets? :mrgreen:


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## stillhunterman

> Quote pkredRe: couple one liners
> by pkred on Dec 10th, '09, 08:42
> 
> Do elevators smell diffrent to midgets?


 :mrgreen: that one got me


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## GaryFish

anything....
followed by....
"That's what she said."


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## tuffluckdriller

Don't really have time right now, but I will anyway...

So, my wife and I were playing foosball in our basement with a couple. We got bored, so we put in all 4 foosballs on the table. It was getting a little intense...Anyway, every time a ball made it in the goal, I'd just throw it back onto the table, instead of serve it through the little spot for it. 

So I missed putting one in, and my wife serves it through the regular spot. Not thinking at all, I said, "don't worry about putting it through the dumb little hole, just throw it in there!" 

Without missing a split second on the reply, was my friend's wife, "that's what she said."

We rolled on the floor, and it ended the game. We couldn't stop laughing.... Anyway...


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## tuffluckdriller

Back to one liners, anything followed by, "if you know what I mean." :wink:


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## Ifish

I'd give up chocolate, but I'm not a quitter!


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