# Walmart Doctor



## Chaser (Sep 28, 2007)

One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike behind him, "My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I'd better see a doctor." 

"Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies. 

"There's a diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about it. 

It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars - A lot cheaper than a doctor."

So, Joe deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Wal-Mart. 

He deposits ten dollars and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample.. He pours the sample into the slot and waits. 

Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout: 

"You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks. Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart.." 

That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Joe began wondering if the computer could be fooled. 

He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and a sperm sample from himself for good measure.

Joe hurries back to Wal-Mart, eager to check the results.. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results . 


The computer prints the following: 

1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. (Aisle 9) 
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. (Aisle 7) 
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab. 
4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer. 
5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better! 

Thank you for shopping @ Walmart


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## johnnycake (Jul 19, 2011)

That's just wrong!


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## huntingbuddy (Sep 10, 2007)

Nice


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## tye dye twins (Mar 8, 2011)

Awesome joke! Just a little too long for me to memorize to tell others. My whole family laughed pretty **** hard!


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